Life As We Know It

Hi,

I swear I'm such a bad blogger cause I promised I'd blog more often but I didn't..so,I'm sorry,again. A lot of things took place right after SPM. Believe it or not,I'd rather go to school now than be stuck at home doing nothing. It's not like I'm doing nothing. I am doing something but high school is less complicated than reality (if that even makes sense!).

I swear I love my Mac even if it's the oldest version of them all and it has no Lion OSX or whatsoever apps like iCloud or anything. Simple and useable. Even if it's too heavy. The other day I was planning to get a Mac Pro or Mac Air cause no doubt,I'm going need it for college assignments and so on but then again,this Mac is still functioning and I love it even if it has internal damages caused by my so-called rough hands. So I'm going to think 10x before I change to a new Mac.

Anyways,the pictures above I took during my recent trip to Krabi,Thailand. It's so beautiful there that at some point,I felt that I was living in a mini-heaven. Mae Bay is the best of them all. The sand,the sea and even the people were amazing. I wish I could live like Leonardo DC,just like in the movie 'The Beach'. They filmed the movie there itself and it's no surprise that nobody wanted to get out of the island till they were forced. But no joke,the view was breathtaking and the cool air was refreshing. I could feel the water on my skin evaporating slowly as I was on the speed boat. KRABI IS A MUST FOR COUPLES OUT THERE.

Besides that,I failed my theory driving test twice. Very humiliating for someone who said "SPM was kacang putih" indeed. SPM was easy because most of the subjects are in English. But I won't give up. I'm not the quitter type anyways. At some point I actually cried in front of Kak Jaja,telling her I'd hire a driver for the rest of my life so I don't have to drive. I'm going to use public transport if I'm at New York anyways. I'll make sure that dad rent a place near my campus so I could cycle to class. At least I'm persevering the environment. I'd like to think of it that way.

Few more days till New Year's Eve. I don't have any plans tho for NYE except to study. I bet everyone's going to parties and plain ol' Anis is at home,studying TOEFL and SATs. Hard work pays off sooner or later right? Well,hopefully. Plus,I plan to read the Yaasin and perform my salaat hajat for a better year ahead since I'm going to be solo soon. Pretty scary,no doubt.

Results I'm going to expect in 2013:
SPM
TOEFL
SATs
College acceptance letter

Exactly. Pretty scary if you ask me. Being 18 is not fun at all. I'd expect it to be less stressful and less complicated than what I went through during my SPM year but it's a whole lot worst. Nevertheless,I never gave up on anything that I do.

"Finish what you started. Don't stop halfway"-Mom

I'm actually on job-hunt and I plan to start working once my maid is back. There was a job offer at the Animal Clinics that I really like and they have the most adorable kittens and puppies in the whole wide world. We'll see. It's closer to becoming a WWF volunteer. I actually signed up for that but they never called so...

I went out with my old friends back in Melaka and it was fun. After 2 years. Actually I went out with the prom committee and then decided that I should go for my last prom in Melaka. It was fun despite the weird crowd that didn't know how to dance (awkward!). But I think I'll be going for another prom in February. 

Anyways,Merry Christmas and Happy Anniversary to my mom and dad! 20 years together and still standing strong. 

xo

Life Behind The Scenes

Hello.

About 5 months from now,I'm going to fly off to the States (I've repeated this so many times,I know). I was actually already summing up ideas in my head this morning as I woke up for Fajr prayers for 2014's summer break. I can't plan my 2013 summer break cause I'll be in the States by then and I need to adjust myself to the new environment that is so different from home. What if I don't like it there? or what if I'm too homesick?

I've been questioning myself a lot these days on how I'm going to survive solo at a foreign country. Not to mention,the biggest country on the map. What would I do if I suddenly broke into pieces and this time,mom won't be there to mend me back? She's going to be miles away. I guess I'm used to running to her everyday at home and asking her advise on A LOT of things. When I say A LOT,you have no idea what sort of things we talk about. I'm used to having my family everywhere. If I feel like giving up,I'd turn to my family and they will always be there to either tell me what I should or should not do (even my siblings).

What if I fall in love with a person that's going to hurt me over and over and over again? and this time,mom won't be there to actually tell me "He's an arse,to fuck with him". What ifs? What ifs?

At the same time,I'm honestly excited that I'll be living alone and starting a new fresh start at some foreign country where people don't even know I existed before. It's good to come out of the shell and for once see what life has to offer. Get to know new friends and all. Sounds exciting.

I guess this is normal for those who just graduated high school to feel this way. I know what I want and I stand firm on what I believe and want to achieve. There's not a big mark on that,of course.

Everyday I wake up and ask myself if I'm ever going to make a change in this world? Where will I make my name in this world.

But then again,I think too much.

Mom: "I was once at your place. Be strong cause not many people like beautiful and smart women especially women themselves"

HAH. Kept me motivated,definitely.

Till then,x.